Your Inner Circle: Does Size Matter?

Over the past few weeks I participated in or observed a few conversations focused on the number of true friends one has, those they consider to be in their inner circle. It fascinated me because two women used the exact same words to describe their circle of friends saying, “I feel like my circle is shrinking.” They both went on to say they have people in their lives: family members, longtime friends, neighbors, and acquaintances. And they shared that they cherished the friends they consider to be friends of the heart—and that the number didn’t really matter as much as the quality of the friendships.


We’ve all heard some version of the idea that it’s not how many friends we have, but how the friendship nourishes and delights the people involved. Over time, some we may have been friends with for years and years, may not feel like a fit to us any longer—or perhaps it feels that way to them.


Change takes place in one way or another in all relationships, and one of the kindest things we can do for everyone involved is be aware of those transitions, accept them, bless and thank the relationship for what it’s brought into your life and the life of the other. And there are times we may be called to take some kind of action. 


Does this mean we need to announce our decision, end the relationship, never see the person again, or have a discussion with them about our feelings? Perhaps one or all of these actions may be appropriate depending on the situation. However, choosing to come from a loving place and using intuition as our guide are wise ways to discern exactly how to proceed—then we know our course of action is coming from the highest place within us.


Why is it important to think about who’s in our inner circle? Jim Rohn, a motivational speaker, teaches that we are the average of the five people we spend the most time with. It feels especially valuable now with so much negativity, fear, and confusion around us, to surround ourselves with those who truly love and respect us, are authentic and truthful with us, support our growth, and elevate us to be the best version of ourselves we can be. Of course, we commit to being those things for them as well.


Author and teacher Gary Zukav introduced the idea of transforming friendships into spiritual partnerships. Having the following four elements in relationships are the roadmap he offers:


  • Commitment
  • Courage
  • Compassion
  • Conscious communications and actions


Let’s be intentional with all of our relationships. On Sunday, August 5th I’ll be sharing a message called “Relationships: What Are We Agreeing To?” at Unity Spiritual Center. More information here.


May all of your relationships fill you, bless you, and support your conscious evolution!


Blessings and love,

Dawn Morningstar

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